Better Than Humdrum: 09/01/2008

I should set the scene for you. Imagine you have been one of six firefighters selected to appear on the field of a San Francisco Giants game in honor of firefighter appreciation night. Maybe you'd be ecstatic? Okay, well, pretend you're a baseball fan. You might agree that this is more than likely a once in a lifetime opportunity.

For the sake of anonymity I'll call this specially selected firefighter, Firefighter Fonzie. His wife too plays a role in this story, so, I'll refer to her as Wifey. You following me?

Here's where you decide the ending to this story.

Choice A

Everything runs just as planned. FF Fonzie and family arrive at the event a few minutes prior to their requested arrival time of 6:20. His Wifey and kids are in the stands cheering him on. Of course the video camera is out to record this once in a lifetime moment.

Choice B

Wifey suggests they depart the house at 4:00 pm. "Remember San Francisco traffic is often unpredictable", she says. FF Fonzie dismisses Wifey's suggestion. After all, she's crazy.

The negotiated departure time is set for 4:30pm.

The family departs at 4:30, just as planned. After a quick trip to the grocery store and the gas station, they're on their way...to Berkeley that is. Did I fail to mention FF Fonzie's boots are still at the fire station. Obviously, that won't fly.

Arrive in Berkeley only to discover there's not enough money to pay for toll and parking. The family car stops at the bank real "quick".

Finally, the family made it to the fire station. FF Fonzie returns to the car with his boots. Wishes he'd had time to polish his boots. Hopes no one will notice.

The family makes it to the Bay Bridge at 6:00pm. Although the ballpark can be seen from the bridge, they're in a car not a boat. FF Fonzie is convinced he can make the cars in front move by vocalizing his encouragement (in case you're wondering, it sounded something like, "Go, go, go!").

The vehicle makes it off the bridge at about 6:15pm. FF Fonzie calls his contact at the park to let her know he's just around the corner...sorta.

Arrive outside the park at 6:25pm. Not bad, eh? After realizing there's no parking directly in front of the park, FF Fonzie parks in the street directly behind several police vehicles.

FF Fonzie hops out quickly, but not in time to stop the officer from preparing his parking ticket. Because FF Fonzie is now pulling his uniform out of the trunk, Wifey is sure to let him know more than once about the events transpiring before her eyes.

As Wifey pulls out of their "parking spot", FF Fonzie tries his best to talk Mr. Policeman out of the ticket.

FF Fonzie rushes to the office while Wifey and kids search for parking lot D. Wifey discovers the only clearly marked lot is lot A. She circles the block looking for lot B, C and D.

Out of pure desperation, Wifey pulls into lot A and asks for directions to lot D. Learns that lot D is across the street and there is no lot B or lot C. Makes sense right?

FF Fonzie begins changing into his uniform when he realizes he forgot his pants in the trunk. Hopes no one will notice.

After realizing his only two choices were jeans or boxers, he decides he better call Wifey and report the news.

Wifey can't find phone as she's simply trying to avoid pedestrians at this point. FF Fonzie begins to panic a bit.

Wifey finally locates lot D and wonders why the sign identifying the parking lot is the size of a post card. Her phone rings again and this time she answers it even though she's surrounded by police and technically breaking the law.

At 6:45pm, FF Fonzie tells Wifey she must drive-by the executive offices (again) and drop off his pants. Promises a woman out front will be waiting for her and waving like crazy so she can't possible miss the drop-off point. Wifey says a few things on the phone she'll later regret.

As Wifey drives by the offices, she observes a woman chatting on her cell phone, but no waving arms. After nearly passing by Chatty Cathy, she's finally waved down. At this point Wifey has missed the empty bus drop off and must park in the intersection. The ticket issuing policeman is right across the street.

Now Wifey is far from the infamous lot D considering S.F. is chock-full of one one streets and people. She's beginning to resign herself to the fact that she and the kids will be missing this once in a lifetime event. Wifey breaks the news to the kids and the tears flow. Thankfully, things are remedied with a Red Vine for each.

In the meantime, FF Fonzie is almost ready to make his debut. He realizes he can't carry his other clothes so he looks for a storage spot. The only place he can locate is the utility closet. He stuffs his belongings in with the toilet paper and cleaners.

Before walking on the field, FF Fonzie notices his badge is missing. Yep, its in the car. Knows better than to call Wifey. Hopes no one will notice.

After hauling both kids, diaper bag, and camera bag (that she won't need) from the car, Wifey is on her way to the game. Realizing she'll be missing the performance, she stops outside the ballpark and catches a quick glimpse of the event on the large screen. She's not happy.

Wifey makes it to the seats just before FF Fonzie. She's sweating buckets and ready to remove her clothing despite the cool weather.

FF Fonzie gives Wifey a kiss and admits he wished he had that half hour back. He agrees Wifey isn't crazy all the time.

Year four must be tougher than I remember. Little guy has doled out his fair share of drama the last few days. I have a short snippet of evidence on the video camera, but Alfonso isn't willing to share. Trust me; its funny!

Tonight while I was getting the bath ready, Mia decided to "hop" in on her own. She picked the front "seat", right next to our ducky bath spout. Normally Spencer rides shotgun and he was not happy to see Mia in his place. He climbed in anyway. After a little bout of splish-splashing (aka mini-tantrum), he exclaimed: "Its so boring back here! There's nothing to do. She never lets me sit in the front!"

To that I say, "What a world! What a world!"

There, now I feel better.