Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Proof the Ordinary is Indeed Eventful

Crying after a dentist appointment should have been proof enough. In my defense it wasn't just a routine check-up. No, no. I may very well be one tooth closer to dentures folks. Apparently, I cracked a tooth real good and it may be beyond repair. Note to self: teeth are not to be used as tools. Lesson learned, the hard way. So, back to the crying. It is a sad realization that all my flossin' and teeth scrubbin' hasn't paid off. Indeed, my human efforts came up short, thus, the tears. If the $2,000 crown and root canal prove to be of little help, then I'll have the culprit yanked and an implant in it's place. Great, I always wanted implants, er, an implant.

After the short cry fest, we ran into my obstetrician at the book store. I know our names have long been forgotten, but I'm sure she remembered our faces very well. Spencer know bits and pieces of his birth story and this evening he shared his very own rendition (beware: graphic toddler language follows):
S: "Mommy, when I was coming out of you, I bit her finger."
Me: "That's right! Do you remember what else happened?"
S: LAUGHS. "I peed on her!"

So, again, I'm in one of those reflective moods. Running into Dr. B just stirred it up some more. When I was facing six months of bedrest, I never believed I'd survive. Okay, I knew I would survive, but I had doubts I'd thrive. I gave myself the permission to really grieve the pregnancy I had envisioned and tried to accept the road I'd travel. Really, I had no choice, did I? We can't control what we must face, but we do have a choice in our attitude. Bitter or better? How one letter makes all the difference!

And just when you thought I'd had enough reflection for the day, there's more! Our SW forwarded Mia's latest medical update. The girl is up to 17 lbs. 8 oz. as of May 25th. Of course I found my mind now occupied with Mia and the distance between us. Honestly, sometimes it is so darn hard to look at another set of pictures or another medical update. Again, I think I've been operating in survivial mode for some time now. Thriving takes a lot of effort and heartache, don't you agree? God's been working on me. I know He wants me to move from surviving to thriving. He wants more than my obsession with our timeline. He wants my heart, not my head. Mia deserves the very same.

Monday, May 28, 2007

The dreaded nap

A lot of parents wonder when a child is ready to give up nap time for good. I dreaded the day our little guy would decide the extra sleep was unneccessary, but things have sure changed! Spencer took a small cat nap yesterday and was up past my bedtime. After a slice of bread and a few more stories, he tuckered out around 11:30. YIKES!


Friday, May 25, 2007

Missing my "old" job?!

So, a few mornings ago, my hubby informed me that I was yacking away in my sleep (again!). It is something I've done for a good portion of my life, but now I have a sleeping buddy to record all the fabulous phrases that slip from my lips. I'm sure it is scary to see a lady completely asleep, but with her eyes open. Apparently, he's not scared anymore because he usually keeps the conversation going until I eventually wake up (completely confused by the way). I guess I called him "Trixie". Now, let me explain...I worked with "Trixie" for six years at an insurance company, so no jokes please! From there, I grabbed Alfonso's chin and told "Trixie" that he, I mean she, better get to work. That's strange! Trixie, I know you read this blog, and I must apologize that I used my lowly CSR position to order you around! I'm not sure what ever came over me!

Or, am I? Lately, I've been having frequent work related dreams and it has been four years since my departure. I never thought I'd miss that little office, but I do. I love being a stay-at-home momma and I've never imagined going back to work for real "dough". I do miss something being mine and I wonder if my subconcious is just confirming this. I didn't play a big role, but I had my niche...my area of expertise. Ya know?

I'm craving it again...a little.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Recipe for a semi-disaster

One three year old + one hose gushing water + an open sliding glass door = one soaked mommy, one very sad kitchen table and best of all, a lesson learned! (oh, and maybe some giggles from the aforementioned toddler)

The waiting continues...

Well, today marks the end of week 6 and the beginning of week 7 of our second round in good ole PGN (insert extreme sarcasm). TYPICALLY (yes, all caps), the majority of cases are given a "yea" or "nay" in the 6-8 week window. I'm a bit on edge. As badly as I won't the phone to ring, I'm just as happy that it hasn't. Weird, huh? We don't have caller ID, so until further notice, just call me on my cell phone where I can just relax (or not) when the darn thing rings.

All silliness aside, could you please pray for us both? Although we trust that God is in control of this process whether we hear good news or that which we dread, we certainly have our moments of doubt.

Love you all!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Grasping at Straws

I made a friendly reminder call to our agency today. About a month ago, I made the same request. You see, I really want to meet Mia's Mama. It is rare in the world of Guatemalan adoptions, but it does happen. And I'm SO hoping this can come to fruition.

Although the circumstances surrounding the loss of my own mom at age eleven are very different from that of Mia's loss of her Mama, I do understand the pain. That hole. I know how hard I've tried to fill my own void, until I just plain gave up. No one...no one, will ever replace my mom. Why in the world would I think things would be different for Mia? I know there's a hole I will never fill and "shoes" that simply will never fit me. Despite my greatest attempts I know Mia will one day wonder, "What if...". Maybe you see this as doubt on my part...doubt about my mothering abilities. I assure you its not.

I realize a simple visit won't dissolve the distance that will be between Mia and her Mama. I do hope, given the opportunity, her Mama will be comforted in meeting us. I hope that one day, Mia will see her mommy cared enough to recognize her loss.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Starring Mia!

One sweet surprise arrived on our doorstep this morning...a new video of Mia! The video was taken the same day as our last batch of pictures (March 29th). And yes, indeed, the girl sure smiles...A LOT!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Mia's "Crib"

I thought I'd bombard you all with pictures of Mia's room, after all you did chose to visit-right? Are you shocked that it is pink? Well, me too. Pink drew me in with it's magnetic forces! I sure hope Mia comes home soon. I have a blank wall and I'm in the mood for decorating. Really, it wouldn't be a good thing! If you find me at Michael's, just shoo me home. I promise I won't hold it against you, and my dear husband just might thank you!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

I love my boys!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Mia's Growing!

Our social worker sent us an email today with the stats from Mia's last appointment with the pediatrician on April 25th. She's definitely making some ground with her growth, but still a little peanut at 17lbs. at 9.5 months. The medical report also describes her as a "healthy child". Details....I want details folks!!