Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Proof the Ordinary is Indeed Eventful

Crying after a dentist appointment should have been proof enough. In my defense it wasn't just a routine check-up. No, no. I may very well be one tooth closer to dentures folks. Apparently, I cracked a tooth real good and it may be beyond repair. Note to self: teeth are not to be used as tools. Lesson learned, the hard way. So, back to the crying. It is a sad realization that all my flossin' and teeth scrubbin' hasn't paid off. Indeed, my human efforts came up short, thus, the tears. If the $2,000 crown and root canal prove to be of little help, then I'll have the culprit yanked and an implant in it's place. Great, I always wanted implants, er, an implant.

After the short cry fest, we ran into my obstetrician at the book store. I know our names have long been forgotten, but I'm sure she remembered our faces very well. Spencer know bits and pieces of his birth story and this evening he shared his very own rendition (beware: graphic toddler language follows):
S: "Mommy, when I was coming out of you, I bit her finger."
Me: "That's right! Do you remember what else happened?"
S: LAUGHS. "I peed on her!"

So, again, I'm in one of those reflective moods. Running into Dr. B just stirred it up some more. When I was facing six months of bedrest, I never believed I'd survive. Okay, I knew I would survive, but I had doubts I'd thrive. I gave myself the permission to really grieve the pregnancy I had envisioned and tried to accept the road I'd travel. Really, I had no choice, did I? We can't control what we must face, but we do have a choice in our attitude. Bitter or better? How one letter makes all the difference!

And just when you thought I'd had enough reflection for the day, there's more! Our SW forwarded Mia's latest medical update. The girl is up to 17 lbs. 8 oz. as of May 25th. Of course I found my mind now occupied with Mia and the distance between us. Honestly, sometimes it is so darn hard to look at another set of pictures or another medical update. Again, I think I've been operating in survivial mode for some time now. Thriving takes a lot of effort and heartache, don't you agree? God's been working on me. I know He wants me to move from surviving to thriving. He wants more than my obsession with our timeline. He wants my heart, not my head. Mia deserves the very same.

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